“Why is it that some people are so easy to be around, and others so difficult?”

“Well, some people are easy-going and adapt to those around them, while others are more rigid and try to change the people they are around.”

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When we try to “change” someone, we are belittling them.  The attempted changes, need not be large.  They can be small things in behavior or actions that we attempt to change, especially in our mate.   However, we must realize that the more we try to adapt others to “our way” the more we are negating them.

Yes, there might be some behavioral issues in your mate that you feel justified in modifying.  However, the question is how do you go about doing it?  Most healthy relationships have a clear path of communication.  If it bothers you when your mate does certain things, you should be able to talk to him or her about it – later.  That means when you are having a nice evening together, you might take an opportunity to have that conversation.

The question you should also ask, is whether or not it will ever be “good enough” for you?  Are you so demanding of others that there is no way they can ever do things exactly right?  Take an honest assessment of your expectations today as you go about this day.  When we expect everything to be done “perfectly” we are removing any potential for others to have self-expression.  Besides, nothing is “perfect” for everyone, yet everything is “perfect” just the way it is.

When you interact with others, you might be an observer of yourself.  Rather than putting other people’s behaviors under a microscope, it is time to assess yourself.  Are you soft and pliable, or hard and rigid?  Do you understand what your mate or others are saying to you, but it wasn’t spoken “correctly” so you make them repeat it?  Let go of the need to demand perfection from others, for they are perfect just the way they are!  Yes, we all have “flaws” but we must accept them and love them anyways!

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Be the person that is adaptable, and easy to be around.  You will find that it is actually in flow with your inner-self when you allow and accept rather than demand and reject!

Written, Fri, Jun 12, 2015 8:13 – 8:22 AM MDT