When someone “lashes” out at you in anger, it is usually because they are feeling hurt.  They may think that you possibly initiated the reason for their “hurting,” or they may not even know the source of their pain.  However, when a friend or family member gets angry at you, their hurting inside is often the cause.

So, what is it we can do when we find ourselves “lashing” out in “anger blow-ups” at others?  The first thing that we need to do whenever we find ourselves emitting an emotion that is negative in nature, is to evaluate our thoughts.  Our thoughts cause our emotions.  The simple solution is to “change your thought.”  However, we may often find the same thoughts surfacing which in turn cause negative emotions.

In those cases, we need to evaluate those thoughts and try to gain an objective understanding on why they keep coming to the surface.  Since we fundamentally know that we cannot change anyone else’s behavior, we need to take responsibility for our own behaviors.  What part of all of these “anger outbursts” do we need to take responsibility.  Ultimately, if you are the one having the “outbursts” all of the responsibility is on you.

You are responsible for your own behaviors – no one else’s.  Sure, others may “trigger” a “knee jerk” response from you, but you are responsible for each and every one of your actions.  Take the time to sit quietly in meditation and  clear your mind so that it can be in a relaxed state.  That way, when a normal “trigger” occurs you are in a state of peace and calm and can intentionally respond.

When we get so wrapped up in our mind, that continually “races” with thoughts and analysis, it is no wonder we cannot see our hand in front our face.  We are so wrapped up in our own head, we cannot see the world around us in an objective way.

Your beliefs create your reality.  When you believe that someone loves you, that is what you see.  Conversely, when you believe that someone dislikes you, that, too is what you see!  What we believe, we actually create in our view of the world!

Now, when we figure out our beliefs, your ego will try to convince you that a family member or friend dislikes you.  You need to connect with your “higher self” bypassing the ego so that you can find your truth.  You know the truth, but it is more satisfying to give into the ego’s view of the truth.  When you fundamentally come to an understanding that person truly does love you, you begin to interpret their behaviors differently.

Rather than looking for a lack of giving, you begin to see the love that is being presented to you.  Rather than living with pent-up anger and bitterness, you might be able to let go and change to a state of love.  When you know that you are loved, and you truly believe it, the “pettiness” disappears!

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Look for the love in all people, and you will begin to find an empathy that allows for you to camouflage their so-called “flaws.”  Maybe in return they will see the love within you as well!

Written Mon, Oct 13, 2014 8:11 – 8:23 AM MT