When a person has been hurt sometime in their life, they “cover up” that hurt with many “layers.”  Sometimes, those layers are like a tough “shell” that protects them.  Sometimes, the “shell” has large spikes on it that may hurt others, before they can penetrate that shell to get to the person hiding inside.

When we feel like we are defensive in our actions, or feel like we “attack” before letting others “attack,” we may be covering up the person of who we are.   We may not even be aware of the hurt that may have occurred sometime in the past, but have built up a fortress around our tiny self to protect it.  For some, they may know they’ve been hurt and understand the “defensive” measures they have in place.

In order to remove the barriers you have placed around yourself, you will need to understand the reasons for those barriers in the first place.  However, for some, you may need to recognize and “see” the barriers before you can begin.  After you realize barriers have been put up around you for possibly many years, you can then attempt to visualize the person hidden deep within those walls.

Look at that person and attempt to understand who that person is.  Attempt to understand why that person may be “hiding” at all.  That person, at some level is a part of you.  You must first understand that person before you can lower the guards placed to protect you.  There may have been some event in the past that caused great physical harm to you, or possibly a fear of emotional harm is the source.

Take a moment to truly ask yourself if you are on the “offensive” with others so that they cannot attack you.  Then look at the situations and truly decide if you would have been “attacked” at all.  Understanding some of your methods may help you in unveiling the hidden person.

In other cases, you may not be “hiding” from those around you, but rather, are not happy with yourself.  You might be filled with bitterness and anger, and not even know why.  In those cases, you release what you have inside of you to the world and those around you – making you look like a grumpy person.  If that is the case, you might begin with taking a “gratitude inventory.”  Start by stating ten things for which you are grateful.  When you feel yourself starting to slip into the mode where you let the anger and frustration overtake you, say more things for which you are grateful.

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When we have behaviors that we would like to modify within ourselves, we need to do an honest assessment to figure out the “source” of those behaviors.  That source is inside of you somewhere, waiting to be addressed.  When you release the source of the undesirable behaviors, you will see your “outside” world adjust accordingly!

Written Mon, Aug 25, 2014 8:03 – 8:14 AM MT