“Hurry up, I don’t want to be late.”

“That’s okay, they’ll understand.”

“It’s not about them understanding.  It’s about me following through on a commitment to the time we set to meet.”

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When we commit to someone or something, our time, energy or resources, we need to make sure that we follow through.  Thinking that it’s okay to somewhat follow through is not only cheating the other person, but it is also chipping away at the core of your “self.”

People associate commitment with their “word.”  “When I say I’m going to do something, I do it.”  For some, the “commitment” may be more of a “recommendation.”  “I meant, I would do it if I find the time.”

There is nothing wrong with saying “no” to people who might be asking more of you than you care to deliver.  However, it is important to understand and communicate the level of commitment that has been made.  To the other person, “if I find the time” might have been heard as, “certainly, I’ll do it.”  When the commitment is broken, trust issues may result.

Sometimes, we make commitments to ourselves.  Suppose we have told ourselves that after high school we will be attending college, but we end up doing something different.  It’s okay to modify our self-commitments, but we need to make sure that we are doing it in a way that we do not feel “cheated.”  For example, if the reason we do not go to college is because we found a partner and started a family, we may someday tend to “resent” that decision.

For some people, they choose not to “commit.”  They will never give an affirmative answer to others regarding the making of a commitment.  In those cases, it is difficult to forge relationships because at some point even the smallest commitment of time, energy or resources is necessary from each party in the relationship.

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When we understand the importance of following through on our commitments we may choose to be more cautious in making them.  However, avoiding commitments altogether can result in difficult relationships.  The key is to find your own balance that meshes well with those around you!

Written, Mon, Mar 2, 2015 8:10 – 8:18 AM MST