Do you ever wonder why you have certain negative feelings toward a particular person?  Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of negative feelings from  a family member or friend.  Often times there is an emotion that is negative in nature at play.  That emotion is resentment.

How is resentment created and exactly what is resentment?  We will do our best to describe this emotion.  Resentment, as you may suspect originates from the ego – much like bitterness and anger.  However, resentment is often directed at a particular person for some “wrong” that you think they have done to you sometime in the past.  Already, the warning bells should be going off in your head when you hear that it is dwelling on something that occurred in the past.

Often times, someone feels resentment towards another for such a long period of time they cannot even remember how it all originated.  The negative emotion becomes almost automatic towards that person whenever they hear their name or converse with them.  Of course, the person with the resentment seldom discusses this emotion or the cause of the “wrong doing” with the recipient of their negative energies.   That would be standing up to the ego and facing the music to allow for the other person to explain themselves and to work through it.

No, the ego loves feeling “wronged” and will continue to let you feel that way until you finally stand up and figure things our, or better yet, shake it off and move forward, leaving it in the past.

Resentment, like anger and bitterness, is an emotion that if left dormant long enough in your life may settle somewhere  in your physical body to manifest as a negative outcome within your body.  Think of someone who you may not like very well.  Be honest with yourself and look at why you do not like that person.  Maybe there is some dormant resentment that you have even forgotten about with regard to that person.  Isn’t it time to let go of that resentment and start with a clean slate?

“Well yes,” you say, “but what if I let down my guard and they hurt me again?”  That is a possibility.  However, we must articulate that the hurt for which you speak is one of emotion, and not physical.  We would never recommend that you put yourself in harm’s way physically.  We also are speaking of people for which you would like to have a relationship with, such as a family member or even a friend.

Putting yourself out there and letting go of resentment may allow for the relationship to flourish beyond what you can imagine.  Think of resentment and bitterness and other negative emotions as weights tethered to the relationship keeping it on the ground.  Cut the strings to those weights and let the relationship fly!

In this life there is nothing that you can take with you from the physical world to the non-physical plane of a physical nature.  However, relationships that are either positive or negative in nature go with you.  Maybe you should look at dealing with those relationships that are not where you would like them to be or are not realizing their potential in this lifetime.

Resentment is an emotion that is negative in nature directed at another individual for something that individual either did to you, or for something that individual “did” that you did not like.  Can you look back on this life and not find events where you did things that you do not like?  Do you resent yourself?  Why should you hold another to a higher standard than yourself when you are not able to live the perfect life that you would like either?

When you expect something of another that is not even attainable by yourself, how can anyone ever meet that expectation?  Further, why are you placing expectations on anyone in the first place, when we struggle with our own behaviors?

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Resentment prevents growth in an individual while limiting one’s relationships that have  the potential to flourish.  Simply let go of the resentment and see how light your world becomes.

Written Mon Dec 23, 2003, 7:56 – 8:12 AM