The players huddle as the coach  explains the situation.  “We have the lead, but they are going to foul and force us to the line.  We are going to substitute for our best free throw shooters.”  Johnny removed his warm up gear and proceeded to check into the game.  This was his chance to prove his worth with his 90% free throw percentage.  He would not disappoint as they threw the ball into him and he was quickly fouled.  Two quick “swishes” sealed the game.

When you are thinking about how to interact with other people, we often spend time trying to “change” them in some way.  If we are an employer or a boss, we might work with the staff to improve in areas where they are lacking, rather than accentuating the areas where they are strong.

When building a team, it is sometimes best to understand the strength of each individual, and play to those strengths rather than trying to improve on their weaknesses.  When someone focuses on the weaknesses of a person, there is a tendency to beat that person down, when they know there are so many other places where they can flourish.

It is similar in your life, when there is a focus on the negative rather the positive things.   Remember, what you focus on you produce more of.  So when working with others, such as your children, you want to always place the energy on the positive aspects while minimizing the amount of energy spent on areas for improvement.   When talking about areas for improvement we always want to be in the affirmative, such as, “when you get up in the morning, you can be on time for school if you keep the focus on getting yourself ready and eating your breakfast.”

That is much different from saying, “when you get up in the morning you are spending too much time lying around doing nothing which is making you late.”  The affirmative approach tells the person what to do, rather than what not to do.  Again, focusing the energy on what it is you would like to attract.

When shooting what could be the game winning free throw, the wise coach will assume the player is going to make the shot rather than focusing on what to do if there is a miss.   That sends positive energy and shows the player the coach believes in her.  The same is true in almost every interaction you have with the people in your life.

When you focus on the positive outcomes, you are sending energy to the universe to attract the things that you want, rather than sending energy to the things you are trying to avoid.   When you talk to your children, mate, staff, and colleagues with confidence in their abilities, you are letting them know that you trust in their abilities.   When there is a focus on the wrong that people are doing in their life, you are subtly telling them that you are doubting their abilities.

Everyone has something to contribute to the world.   Finding that diamond that may be buried deep inside of them is a function of a great leader.   Bringing out the best in people, is a sign of a selfless person.  It is those that dwell on the worst in people who may be trying to clone themselves throughout the world.

InspiraCard

Life is about relationships.   When you can figure out how to see the best in people is when you will have figured out one of the great  universal secrets.

Written Thu Mar 6, 2014, 7:41 – 7:54 AM MT