“I don’t like her.”

“Why not?” asked the friend.

“Because she isn’t very nice to me.”

“What did she do?”

“She says mean things to me.”

“Like what?”

“She said I looked fat.”

“She said that?”

“Well, something like that, and it hurt.”

“Are you sure she meant that she thought you were fat?”

“Oh yes, she meant it all right.”

“How do you know?”

“Oh, I know.”

Later the friend went to the other girl and asked her similar questions.

“Did you call Sally fat?”

“What?”

“She said you called her fat.”

“No, I would never say that to anyone, especially her, she’s as skinny as a rail.  Is that why she doesn’t like me?”

“I think so.”

Ω

This is a typically dialog that is often heard between friends.  “Someone said something, but I can’t remember quite what, but it hurt me and so I don’t like them.”

When we talk like this, we are saying that you may have done something in the past that at the time hurt me, so I am never going to be your friend ever again.   How many times have you inadvertently said something that may have hurt someone else?  If you were never forgiven would you have any relationships left?

Stubbornness in a relationship is a recipe for severing those relationships.  Eventually, the stubbornness moves from one relationship to another, until you find yourself all alone.  In the story above, Sally will eventually find a reason to be mad at the person she was talking with.  The pattern continues , the “actors and actresses” just change names and faces.

If you are honest with yourself, you might see that you are being stubborn in some of your relationships.  You might be hanging onto some event that happened a long time ago, for which you may have faded memories.  However, you are stubborn enough to make sure you do not forget to still be angry at the perpetrator of some horrible thing – usually, a comment or behavior that you misinterpreted.

Let go of the anger and the bitterness.  There is no room for those emotions when you would like to fill your days with happiness and joy.  Let go of the need to be hurt, and let others find their way with your encouragement and happiness.  This lifetime is too short to lose friendships and relatives over misunderstandings.  Take the time to work through those “blips in the relationship road” and walk together to share the beauty of the world.

InspiraCard

Forgive, and let be.  Forget and let go.  Life is about fulfilling relationships, but stubbornness, anger and bitterness will never let you experience such a relationship.

Written Wed, May 21, 2014 8:00 – 8:11 AM MT