“I gave him my word.  I can’t change my mind and go with someone else.  I just can’t.”

“Honey, I know that, and I admire your integrity.  You’ll have a great time at the Prom with your date.”

“I know the other boy is more popular and all, but I gave him my word.  If I go back on my word, than what good is it?”

The mother nodded in agreement as she watched her daughter try on dresses for her big night.

Ω

When we give someone our “word” we are making an implicit promise to them.  We may not explicitly say that we are making a promise, but our agreement to whatever is involved is backed by our integrity.  The implied promise could be telling your child that after you get home from work, you will go out for ice cream.  Even though you worked later than expected, that is an implicit “promise” that your child will not forget.

When we tell someone we will do something, we need to do whatever we can to make that happen.  Sure, there are extenuating circumstances that may prevent that from happening, but in general, we cannot “turn back” on our implicit promise just because we no longer feel like following through.

We make implicit promises all of the time.  It might be something as simple as setting a time for that evening’s dinner, or telling your boss that you will have the report done by close of business today.  We might tell our mate that we will pick up milk on the way home from work, or tell our daughter that we will come to watch their game.

Yes, all of these implicit promises contribute to the creation of our personality, our honesty, and our integrity.  There are many other things that contribute to “who we are as well” but we will focus on integrity today.

What is integrity?  We would say that a person’s integrity defines their “trustworthiness.”  A person that has high integrity, is someone who you can trust for the big items, like with your money, as well as the small items, like picking up the milk on their way home from work.  When you “trust” someone, you are setting a level of expectation that they will “follow through” and choose honesty over any temptations they may encounter.

Integrity also means doing the “right thing.”  What is the right thing?  In some cases, that is an easy decision, like being honest when filling out your tax return, or telling the clerk she gave you too much change back.  In other cases, it is not so clear-cut.  That is when you trust the person involved in the decision, because you know they have great integrity.

We need to understand that integrity is not just “outward,” but “inward” as well.  When we have integrity with ourselves, we understand the importance of being true to ourselves.  That may mean, we no longer hide the secret that we have been keeping from the world, simply because we are afraid.  A secret that may be preventing you from “being yourself.”   Many people have lived with secrets that prevent them from having their own self-integrity.

Of course, we are not saying that you cannot live with a secret.  No, we are saying if the “secret” you are keeping means that you cannot be yourself, than you are living without internal integrity.  You are effectively “cheating” yourself from being free and living an “honest” life.  A life where you do not have to “pretend,” but can be genuine to yourself.

Relationships, also involve integrity.  When we have integrity in a relationship, there is no “game playing” or dishonesty.  Secrets that may impact the relationship are revealed and the relationship can maintain its bond.  When dishonesty enters a relationship, the trust in the relationship can be destroyed, and the relationship may be in jeopardy.  Living a life of integrity, means you are genuine in all facets of your life.

Relationships without integrity cannot grow.  They may stay the way they are, but their growth may be stunted.  Begin to provide the “genuineness” of your inner self to all your relationships and see where that may lead.  Take away anything that you would consider to be lacking in integrity and let your relationships adjust accordingly.

When you are living a life with integrity, you are living it in your daily occurrences at work, at home, and at play.  You are living a life where you are true to yourself, and understand that you must be genuine to yourself, and to everyone for which you have a relationship.

InspiraCard

Integrity is more than a concept.  It is a way of life.  A life that can be free by being genuine to yourself and everyone in it.

Written, Tue, Apr 22, 2014 7:54 – 8:13 AM MT