Yesterday we talked about owning your part of disagreements.  Today, we would like to talk about the concept of forgiveness.  When you begin to understand that you play a role in all disagreements, or relationship “issues” you have with another, you begin to open up to the idea of forgiveness.

There are times when it may be necessary to apologize for any wrong doing you may have directed to another person.  There are also times for forgiving another, or yourself.  Forgiveness is not always about apologizing.  There are times, when you need to “forgive” in order to allow the relationship to progress freely, within the straps you have placed on it to hold it “down.”

When you release your anger, bitterness, stubbornness and the like, towards the other person, you will feel a “lightness.”  That lightness allows the relationship to move forward.  Those negative emotions that you may have toward another, is like a rope tethering a hot air balloon to the ground.  When you cut each of those ropes, through “forgiveness” you will allow for the relationship “balloon” to float freely.

Forgiveness is not about telling the other person who may have “wronged” you that you forgive them.  Rather, it is about “letting go” of the negative emotions that you are harboring yourself.  Those negative emotions may only be in your own “mind” and have very little to do with any “wrong doing” the other person may have performed.

There is a tendency to think that when you “forgive” someone, you are admitting that they did some wrong doing, that you were the victim, and that you, the victim, is going to be the bigger person by “forgiving” said wrong doing.  Sure, in some instances that may be the case.

However, in the majority of instances, there never was a “wrong doing.”  The “wrong doing” only occurred within your own mind, due to your “reality.”  As such, you develop an “attitude” toward the other person which “straps down” the relationship.  This “attitude” is only within yourself, and has nothing to do with the actions of the other person in the relationship.  Sure, they may have their own “attitude,” which has nothing to do with you either.

When you begin to realize that you need to “let go” and “forgive” you begin to see the “lightening” of your emotions.  Those emotions that you have hung onto for such a long time, are released and you can move forward.  If the other person does the same, based on your example, you might both be in the hot air balloon enjoying the view as it floats throughout your lifetimes.

Forgiveness is about you and only you.  It’s not about being the victim, but admitting to your own anger and bitterness, and letting that go.  Maybe you think you have legitimate reasons for the anger and bitterness, but that is only in your reality.  The reality of the other person is most likely much different.  There is no need to rehash the cause of the anger and bitterness.  Just letting it go and moving forward is sufficient.  When you do that you feel the freedom of forgiveness.

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Forgiveness is not about being the victim who forgave the aggressor.  No, it is about owning up to your own emotions and letting go of those emotions.  When you do that you cut the straps that were holding down the relationship “balloon” which can now fly freely throughout your lives.

Written Wed Apr 16, 2014, 7:48 – 8:00 AM MT