“Please quit asking me questions.”

“Why is that?”

“I just want you to talk to me about whatever it is you want to talk about, and I’ll do the same. ”

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Sometimes in conversation, we feel the polite thing to do is to ask questions.  That may be the case for “cocktail party” types of conversations.  However, when we have a deep relationship with someone, there is little need to do so.

Yes, there is a need to ask follow-up questions, and to balance the conversation so that we are not dominating it.  However, one can look at “question asking” as a sort of defense mechanism so that we need not talk about ourselves.  In those kinds of relationships, the relationship has a “facade” that must be removed before it can go deeper.

Think about a recent encounter with say an old friend or a family member.  Maybe you haven’t seen each other in a long time and need to “catch up” on family members and the like.  That is perfect.  However, now let’s look at a long-time relationship where it never gets past the “catch up” point.  Those, too are great, but may have become stagnant.

Ultimately, for relationships to be fulfilling the conversation at some point turns to something “meaningful.”  Yes, talking about your children and family is meaningful – yet short-term.  What we mean by “meaningful” is getting past the social appearances and getting to the core of your being.

When people connect at the “being level” they are connecting in the non-physical plane.  They are finding each other on that plane and communicating and connecting at rates not available in the physical plane.  They are talking and discussing things that go beyond this lifetime.  In those situations, the “meaning” is well beyond the social, but gets into the spiritual.

Ultimately, relationships that encourage and support the growth of each other need to get past the “catch up” conversation and into the core of each other’s being.  These relationships can be challenging, for each participant must come without judgment and concern over exposing their own self.  Each participant in these relationships must feel safe to share with the others, and all must share in a balanced way.

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When we find a relationship where we can quickly get to the “core” of what is meaningful to us, we can encourage and support each other in their journey of growth.  Find that person with whom you can each share whatever is on your minds and hold onto to them!

Written, Mon, Feb 15, 2016 8:25 – 8:35 AM MST