Sometimes in your life you may hit a point where you feel that no matter what you do, it is not “enough.”   You may try to keep your positive attitude and apply the techniques that we have discussed, but find that you are struggling to stay “positive” and happy.  There may be times in your life when you wonder if you are better off just keeping your head down, avoiding conflict and doing your work – without expressing yourself.

In many jobs that is what your boss may want – someone who simply does the job without speaking their mind or expressing their creativity.  There are times when all that is needed from the work force is consistency and productivity.  If you are in a position like that, and find yourself “stifled” you may want to begin looking for other jobs where you are more free to express your ideas and your creativity.

Sometimes in relationships you may find that you feel like when you express yourself, you are misunderstood, which causes friction.    You have choices to make here as well.   If you cannot be “who you are” it may be time to discuss this with your mate.   However, you must also understand that “who you are,” needs to empower the relationship for all parties involved.

When you find yourself in a situation where expressing yourself is continually misunderstood, you might ask others why they think that is so.  You might objectively go on a “fact-finding” mission to get the information that might help you in making slight modifications to your behaviors that could help others understand you in the future.  However, you also must keep in mind that deep-rooted beliefs that you have for others taint your interpretation of their behaviors as well.

For example, you can take several people and ask them to evaluate a video clip showing someone speaking to their mate.   The mate most likely will have one interpretation of the meaning, whereas, a stranger to the parties involved will have an entirely different interpretation of the conversation.   We need to understand the “background” when we are speaking to another person.  When we are speaking to a stranger we need to be cognizant of their possible experiences and choose our words carefully.  Similarly, when speaking to our mate, we need to understand their experiences to choose our words differently.

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Relationships are like walking on a tight rope stretched for miles.  When we fall, we hope that the other person is there to help pick us up so we can get back on the rope.  In some cases, though, it is up to you to pick yourself up and continue on your journey to your life-long beacons.

Written Tue, Jul 29, 2014 7:34 – 7:44 AM MT