What does it mean to “trust?”  To trust another person, to trust an entity such as a company, or a government, to trust even yourself are all concepts that are sometimes difficult to comprehend.  Trusting one another may mean different things to different people.

We have talked about trusting another in the past, but we would like to discuss this concept again.  When you place your “trust” in a person or an entity what does that mean?   When trusting another person, that may mean different things based on the person, and the relationship.

To trust your mate, you may have different expectations than trusting say a friend.  Trusting a boss or company may be different from say trusting your child’s teacher.

The word “trust” is used almost as though the definition is as common place as say “water” but we question whether or not one really thinks about what it is s/he is “trusting.”

Let’s give an example of a married couple who say their vows at their wedding.  Many years later, they most likely forgot their vows and maybe forgot even that those vows implied a sort of “contract” between each other.  Usually, in a wedding environment the importance is placed on the decorations and the appearances of the cast of “actors” and “actresses” who will be standing at the bride and groom’s side during the event referred to as a “ceremony.”

Usually, during the ceremony the bride and groom express their love and commitment for each other in the form of “vows.”  Sometimes, those vows are actually written by the bride and groom themselves and other times, a “standard” set of vows are used.  The officiate or minister generally says the vows one line at a time and the bride and groom repeat those vows.

Now, we are not saying anything is wrong with this approach, it simply is the way that these “bindings” between couples are usually performed.  If you happen to be married or committed to a partner, you might look back on your wedding day, or the day of legal commitment to see if you can remember what it was you told each other for the “vows” that may have been spoken during the ceremony.

Now, those vows may have been implied agreements that provided a definition for how you will “trust” each other.  For instance, “I trust that you will be there for me if I am ill.  I trust that you will stay with me if we are poor, etc.”  Those are very general uses of the word trust.

What we might ask you to consider is what would your “vows” look like today?  Maybe you have been married for decades and your lives have dramatically changed together.  For one, you are both older now than when you celebrated the joining of your lives.  Your health may really be different, and you may be challenged with the “I will be with you in sickness”  part of the agreement.

Look at other people for whom you place your trust.  What would “vows” to those people look like?   “I promise to treat the company as though it were my own, by respecting other employees and our customers.”

Or possibly, “I will always be there if you ever need me, to provide an ear to listen to whatever it is that you have going on in your life.  I will provide the support that I think you need and always listen without judgment, keeping your best interests at heart.”

When you think about what it means to “trust” one another, sometimes putting it in words that may never be shared with that person can help you understand your role in the relationship.  All relationships have some level of trust, whether it be a relationship between a company and a customer, or between two partners in marriage.

Life implies that we trust one another, but the question remains as to what we mean by trust.  Make no assumptions and have these discussions with the other parties involved in the relationship so that you both have an understanding of the implied “agreement” you have made by entering said relationship.

Trust means different things to different people, and sometimes we do not even trust ourselves.   What does it mean to “trust” in yourself?  Do you have a set of “vows” that you can read for yourself?   We know this may sound ludicrous, but think about it for a moment.  What does it mean to trust yourself?

Trusting in yourself, might mean that you have confidence in your own abilities, talents, skills, and decision-making.  It might mean that you know deep down that you are a good person and need to accept whatever positive traits you have.  Many times people “cover up” the good things they have in order to better fit in with others.  A smart child may act less smart so that he can fit in with his friends.  There are many examples and you might be able to look at some examples that you do yourself.

Write out a “vow” to yourself on how you can trust in yourself.  You may uncover things that are holding you back, not because of others, but because of yourself preventing your own growth.

Life is surrounded by concepts of trust.  It is understanding that trust is a fluid as water rushing down a mountain.   Creating a general definition for trust is difficult, and should be modified for each relationship in your life.

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When you place your trust in someone and they place their “trust” in you, you create an implicit agreement which is as strong as a steel cable.  Once in a while, a strand on that cable may break, but acts that support your trust help to rebuild those broken strands while building new ones to create a bond that cannot be broken.

Written Thu Jan 16, 2014, 7:32 – 7:56 AM MT