“In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, remove the mask and place it on yourself.  If you are travelling with a child, place your mask on before helping your child with theirs.”

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Often times in life we get so focused on helping a loved one that we forget to take care of ourselves.    If you do not place the oxygen mask on yourself first, who is going to help you if you lose consciousness?   That is why the flight attendant instructs you to make sure you are “taken care of” so that you may then help those that need it.  Otherwise, you will help your child, but your child may not be able to help you afterwards.

Now, let’s think about that for a minute.  Society often times rewards “unselfish” behavior.   A person who runs into a burning building to save another is labeled a “hero.”   The person who gets themselves out of the burning building has to live with the guilt of whether or not he could have helped someone else get out, possibly saving them both.

Sometimes, the building isn’t burning, but is rather “smoldering.”   In those cases, the choices are not as dramatic, but are just as important.   To the outside world, acts of “taking care of yourself” may appear as selfish.   However, in the case of the oxygen mask, we know the truth.   The same is with the decisions that you make on a daily basis to take care of yourself!

When you come from a place of love, you need to make those tough decisions.  If your mate is aging in a less graceful way then you, does that mean that you should forego those extra years of life?   Does “until death do us part, in sickness and health” mean that you need to wear yourself and your body out doing it?   Does it mean that you both should perish in the burning building when you could have been able to save only yourself?

Every being who enters a physical body chooses to live another lifetime.  The unrealistic expectation, though, of most people is a natural one – one that involves a long, healthy life of themselves and their loved ones.  Unfortunately, that is not what the experience of entering a physical body is usually about.  Growth, comes from adversity.  Life is enjoyed most, when it is respected for the preciousness that it is.

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Give yourself permission to be a little selfish.  It’s okay to live a life together with a loved one that is needing your help – while also living your own life.  Anyone who thinks you are being selfish will someday understand – when they have to make those choices themselves!

Written Wed, Jan 14, 2015 8:14 – 8:24 AM MST