You sit at your desk waiting for a phone call to begin the teleconference meeting.  As you think about the agenda for the meeting, you begin to wonder whether or not you are over-stepping your bounds.  The phone rings, and the meeting begins.  You step into your knowing and present your “off-the-wall” ideas.  There is silence on the other end of the phone.  You begin to wonder if you were inappropriate in your suggestions.  After what seems like an eternity, there is a response – it appears your superiors like the ideas.  They are happy with your suggestions, and a feeling of relief is felt throughout your body.  You put yourself “out there” and it was accepted.

Sometimes, things do not go the way we described above.  Sometimes, suggestions and ideas are immediately dismissed and “shot down.”  Other times, they seem to gain some air beneath them, and begin to float higher and higher.  Yes, it certainly depends on the ideas in the first place.  The idea must fit the bigger picture that resonates with the company and the project.  Yes, the idea must be relevant, and aligned with the goals.  But, maybe more importantly, the recipient of the idea must be open to suggestions in the first place.

Often times we get into situations where we think we know “best” and dismiss other’s opinions and suggestions.  Sometimes we think that no-one else can possibly know more about the project, company, or situation than you.  You have worked with the situation for many years, and others may be new to the project.  How could they possibly know better than you?

A great leader is always listening and learning from the people for which they are supposedly “leading.”  They are open and encourage suggestions and improvements.  The leader understands that by surrounding themselves with great people, they will make it easy for the leader to lead them where they need to go.  It is the so-called “leader” who surrounds themselves with people for which they can control, that makes them less of a leader and more of a dictator.

Leading need not require much thought, but rather providing for, and allowing those around you to make a contribution.  When everyone has a sense of value in the organization, the organization thrives.  However, the sense of “value” must be genuine.  Pretending that people have value and contribute is a façade and will be quickly uncovered as such.

When an organization or leader promotes and allows those within the organization to express their ideas, the organization becomes energized propelling itself to the “next level.”  Allowing those for whom you are to “lead” to present their ideas, while you listen intently to those ideas, is one of the best things that an organization can do to empower the people within it.

The same is true in your personal life.  Allowing your mate, your children, parents, siblings and friends to be who they really are, brings out the best in them, which makes it easier for you to be who you are.  Allowing and encouraging others to pursue their own dreams, rather than the “dreams” that were possibly placed within their heads by someone else, is the best gift that you can give a child.

Allowing your mate to do things his or her own way, provides for better continuity and freedom in the household, while seeing how your mate expresses themselves.   You chose your mate for a reason, and forcing “your way” on them only makes them more like you, which is not a loving position to hold.  Allowance of other’s skills, thoughts, insights and way of doing things is to understand that you do not have all of the answers

You have the answers for yourself, but for no one else, and no one else has the answers for you.  Allowance of others is the most loving thing that you can do to let someone know that you truly value their opinion, and have confidence in their decisions.

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Teach your children how to think for themselves at an early age, for you will not be able to “think for them” after they leave the nest.  Let your staff “think for themselves” so that they may do great things without you getting in the way.  Let your mate, arrange the home to their liking so that you can see their creativity and enjoy their “touch” all the more.  Let go, and allow others to be free with the blank canvas that you may have been keeping to yourself.

Written Mon Feb 17, 2014 7:35 – 7:52 AM MT